As a new parent you want to do the best for your new infant, but they do not come with a manual. It would be impossible to read every parenting book ever written currently on Amazon under, raising children there are 45,649 possible options. Not only as a parent but as a researcher of the science of Positive Parenting, I have reviewed and cited several books in my research include two very popular parenting books, Attachment Parenting by Dr William Sears and Martha Sears and Positive Parenting: An essential guide by Rebecca Eanes and Laura Markham.
William and Martha Sears’s, Attachment Parenting suggests activities designed as the name implies to create a secure attachment with your child, starting even before they are born. Two of the most well-known actions in Attachment Parenting are, baby wearing and co-sleeping, but neither of these is necessary if they do not appeal to you. However, Attachment Parenting goes much deeper than this, beginning by preparing for pregnancy, childbirth and parenting, ones your child is born it suggests feeding and responding with love, respect and sensitivity.
Positive parenting as described by Rebecca Eanes and Laura Markham is not distinct from Attachment Parenting if you choose to adopt Attachment Parenting early in your parenting journey, Positive Parenting sometimes known as positive discipline follows on naturally. However, discipline is the wrong word; it is more a Positive manifesto for understanding and dealing with children’s natural behaviour. If you have followed other parenting styles and are tired of yelling, saying no and constant power struggles. It is not too late to move to a Positive Parenting approach.
From my extensive research I have found the three most important steps to follow as a parent of both approaches are:
- Be Present – When you are mindfully present, you can tune into what your child needs, what they are feeling and your best response.
- Respect & Respond –Children need to feel appreciated the same way adults do take notice when they communicate their needs.
- Connect –while both positive and negative interactions make a positive connection with your child.
It is never too late to work on your parent-child attachment and adopt a Positive Parenting approach in your parenting.
Candice Sunney can often be found sporting “mum hair”. A Mindfulness teacher and parenting coach, currently doing a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology with a particular focus on early Parenting. If you would like to connect, you will find her on twitter @candicesunney or Facebook